This first edition of "diapereports" focuses on the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore. You see, I have this favorite video I like to watch. It's a Baby Einstein video called Baby MacDonald: A Day on the Farm. It features lots of animals walking around. So mom and dad thought I should get to see some of these animals in person. So today, we all got in the car and took a ride to the zoo.The outside of the zoo is pretty drab looking. The parking lot was in pretty bad shape. My stroller bounced so much on the uneven ground I thought I was going to spit up. I bet the parking lot of the Beirut Zoo has fewer holes in it.
When we got to the entrance, mom and dad forked over a hefty admission, but I got in for free. As is typical, dad doesn't take me anywhere that he needs to buy me a ticket. Cheapskate.
Walking in the front gate, I was looking forward to seeing all the animals. But it took us a while to find any. First we went to the Children's Zoo. It featured animals from the Maryland habitat. There were some ducks and turtles, but I didn't see any kitty cats. If they live in our house, surely they'd have some at the zoo. I like kitty cats. I call them "kih" for short.
The best part of the Children's Zoo was this big barn with farm animals. Just like in my video. I got to see a real life cow up close. He was big. He smelled bad, too -- like way worse than one of my messy diapers. In fact, the cow didn't use any diapers. He just made his business right there in the ground. And his messes were really, really big.
Then mom said, "Oh, look at the jackass!" I turned around to look for dad. But mom was referring to the actual jackass walking around his pen. He came up to the fence and let me touch his nose. That's me in the picture touching the jackass's nose. It was wet and soft. There were also chickens, turkeys and pigs. But most of them were too shy to come anywhere near me.
We left the children's zoo and went to walk around the rest of the park. Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there. We walked to the African exhibit. Baltimore is a long way from Africa. There were a couple funny looking birds and other animals just standing around and eating grass. Most of them were too far away for me to really see them. Mom and dad kept pointing to things, but I couldn't really tell what. All those animals just blend in to the background.
We went to see the lions. I was excited because I like kitty cats. But they were all sleeping or hiding. I didn't see them at all. Then we went to see the cheetahs. More kitty cats! But they were also hiding or too far away for me to see them. So we walked over the hippos instead. Those guys are so big, dad thought I would get to see them for sure. But they too were all sleeping inside their special house.
Wild animals sure do sleep a lot. All these sleepy animals made me want a nap.
Before we left Africa, I did get to see a couple giraffes. They were really tall. I guess when you're that tall, it's too hard to lay down and sleep. So they were awake and walking around. That's me in the picture checking out the giraffes. I wanted to pet them, but mom wouldn't let me.After walking through a few more sleeping animal exhibits, it was time to go home. We got to take a special tram out of the park. I liked the tram. It was like a big car ride, and I love car rides. That's me in the picture on the tram playing with mom's Coke bottle. Maybe mom should have given her Coke to some of the animals so they wouldn't be so sleepy.
Overall, I was not impressed with the zoo. I don't think mom and dad were either. The exhibits were all pretty lame, even when the animals weren't sleeping. And the whole place is pretty shabby. Even the pig sty wasn't worthy of its name. Maybe when I'm a little older I can appreciate a zoo more than I did today. But by then, I hope mom and dad will take me to a nicer one.~:O
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